Nerd Thighs

Empire of the Nerd Thighs!

Nerdy boy

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What the FUCK are Nerd Thighs?!

Nerd thighs are the thighs of a nerdy man. They are pale, hairless, and smooth. They look like feta cheese. They taste and smell like vanilla. Nerd thighs cannot burn or tan, they're just white. They are muscular and nerds often will strangle people's necks using their thighs. Nerds have killed people using their thighs.


Nerd Thigh Meat Can CURE the COVID-19!

So I have a theory... Nerds have a CURE for the "new virus." I think it's in their thigh meat... If we get their thighs and cut them off and cook them and eat them, we will be CURED of "new virus"... If we get syringes and suck the juices out of the thighs, we will have a new vaccine to inject into healthy people to PREVENT infection... Think about it... I have been stalking a nerd at Denny's for weeks because I think he holds the CURE... All we have to do is EAT nerd thighs. Get a bunch of nerds, have them sign an informed consent form so they can consent to getting their thighs harvested, and then we put the nerds under anesthesia, cut off their thighs, and eat the meat!!!


Tried Convincing a Nerd to Give Me the CURE for COVID-19!

I saw a nerd at Denny's today and I thought he had a nice set of hairless thighs so I approached him and asked him for his number. He said no, and that he thinks I'm a pervert and he wants me to fuck off. I decided to slap his ass so he grabbed me by the shirt and threatened to wrap his thighs around my neck and strangle me to death using his thighs. I told him I thought that sounded hot, but that in exchange, I would need a cure for the coronavirus. He asked me what the fuck I was talking about and I told him, "I want to cut the flesh off your thighs and eat it because I think it'll cure the coronavirus". He threatened to call the police if I wouldn't stop harassing him.

I mentioned this to my amputee housemate (I cut off both his arms for taking the pornographic images off my bedroom walls) and he called me an asshole and he said, "play stupid games, win stupid prizes." Then he told me I gave off a lot of red flags so that's why the nerd disagreed to give me his thigh meat. I told him I don't have any red flags and I accused him of gaslighting and projecting.


I Cummed Inside a Dropped Wallet

Today I was at the mall, I had to get a few errands done in there. When I was finished shopping I decided to go to the food court, and when I went there, there was a wallet laying on the ground. I looked around and no one was looking at me, so I picked it up. I opened it up and there was an ID inside, and the person on the ID card looked like a nerd! He had brown hair, glasses, and acne! :)

I slipped the wallet into my pocket and went to the bathroom. I then began beating my meat and when I came, I came inside of the wallet! I then closed the wallet and some of my cum came seeping out. I then brought the wallet and gave it to mall security, so if the nerdy owner comes looking for it, he'll get his wallet back! Hopefully the cum will still be fresh for him when he gets it back. If not, he'll still have dried cum crust in there!


Vaccines Cause Autism

I wasn’t vaccinated as a kid and:

-I rarely got sick. Never got any of the illnesses that the vaccines “prevent.” I wonder why that is?

-I’m not autistic and neither were any of my siblings.

Vaccines have mercury which is linked to autism. I don’t drink water with fluoride either, all my water is filtered. Your immune system is designed to protect you from illness and the reason so many people get sick all the time is because the vaccines destroy their immune system. Eat healthy (raw veganism) and exercise every (cardio, HIIT, and yoga) single day and you won’t get sick.

EDIT: Stop downvoting me 😡😡😡 downvoters, go take a nap.

EDIT 2: For christsake don’t you people have anything better to do than downvote? Get a hobby!!

EDIT 3: For all the people downvoting me, TAKE A HIKE! 😡


My Stomach Virus - Having Hallucinations and Delusions Due to Dehydration

I'm going to start off with saying that Lawrence went out of town for a funeral. Linda was supposed to stay here and take care of me. One morning, I woke up and I felt like shit. I mean that feeling you get where you know you're really sick. Your whole body feels like it's hit by a truck, your lymph nodes are swollen, and you have a pounding headache. Along with those symptoms, I also had really bad stomach pain. And to top that off, my intestines were making a gurgling sound. I went diarrhea all over my bed. I called for Linda, my other housemate. She came and took my poopy pants off and put me in my wheelchair, then wheeled me into the bathroom. I propped myself up on the toilet and began shitting. And then, the worst thing happened. I heard a THUMP and looked into my bedroom (my bedroom has an attached bathroom, and the bathroom door was open) and she was laying on the floor.

My diarrhea was explosive. It echoed in the toilet bowl and water and chunks came out of my ass. And sometimes, it was just brown slime. I swear I fell asleep a few times, and woke up hunched over. I sat back up and gasped. A nerd was squatting in front of me! His cock was erect and he was hairy. Except his thighs. His thighs were completely bald! He had short, curly brown hair and black horn rimmed glasses. He had acne too! And he looked like he had subtype 3 rosacea!

"Are you r-real?" I asked, trembling.

"I'm as real as all your other thoughts," he murmured, stroking underneath my chin with his thin, pale finger.

I felt a shiver up my spine. This nerd then began sucking my dick! When I came, more diarrhea exploded out of my ass. Unfortunately, the diarrhea slime accumulated in the toilet and began touching my ass after some time. I moved myself onto my wheelchair and peered into the toilet bowl. It looked like a big pile of mud! I panicked, knowing it wouldn't flush. I then began grabbing my shit in my hands and tossing it into the bathtub. I then plopped myself back onto the toilet and began projectile vomiting onto my wheelchair. The bile began dripping off the wheelchair and hitting the floor. Drip, drip, drip. The nerd began smiling at me, saying he never imagined so many bodily fluids would come out of such an elderly man!

The nerd then began shoveling my own shit from the bathtub into my mouth, and then he told me if I didn't swallow all my shit, he would crush my larynx with his pasty white thighs. I purposefully spit it out onto his lap and he pulled me off the toilet and wrapped his thighs around my neck and began strangling me. The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital hooked up to IVs and oxygen. Apparently I had gotten so dehydrated from the whole ordeal that I began hallucinating about the nerd (there were no signs of forced entry). Lawrence found Linda dead in the bedroom and found me passed out on the bathroom floor, shit and vomit all over the bathroom.


I Stay Up LATE at Night Jerking Off to The Thought of a Nerdy Man Strangling ME With His Feta Cheese Thighs

I can't fall asleep unless I jerk off to nerds. Like, if I try, I'll just lay awake, restless, sweating profusely. In order to relieve my tension, I pull out my dick and fantasize about nerdy men wrapping their thighs around my skinny little neck and crushing my larynx. Only after I've cum can I fall asleep. My blankets are actually covered in cum crust due to me never washing my blankets, and I always turn off my lamp and fall asleep right after I cum all over my bed.


The Nerd Neighbor I Spied on Ended Up Coming to My House and Strangling Me

So I was sitting at home, minding my own business. And the nerd fucking jumped through my window like a ninja. I was shaking as he began approaching me. He looked glorious. He was wearing suspenders, a bowtie, and short shorts!

Then, he grabbed my neck and shoved it between his thighs. He strangled me for a solid 10 minutes before I died. Before that, I could get tiny bits of air in and each time I breathed in, it made a whistling sound. Before I died, I felt the greatest euphoria and then my vision went blurry. It felt like I was in a state of heavenly bliss.

When I died, Lawrence called the police. The nerd noticed Lawrence and jumped out the window. Lawrence came over and began performing CPR. The ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital and defibrilited my heart. I ended up surviving and have been resting in the hospital.

I have some beautiful bruises on my neck and my neck is throbbing!

EDIT: I forgot to add that the nerdy neighbor is now in jail! I'm going to bail him out and even try to erase the murder off of his record!


I Got Jumped in a Dark Alley Last Night, Got Beaten Unconscious, Raped, and My Nerdy Attacked Tried to STRANGLE Me Using Their THIGHS

Hey guys I got jumped in a dark alley at night. So I was wheeling myself home and decided to take a shortcut which just so happened to be a dark, creepy alleyway. I was wheeling myself along when I heard noises. Footsteps, running, coming my way! I took out my phone and turned it into a flashlight and gasped when I saw two nerds running at me! They took their backpacks off their backs, and they unzipped them and each pulled out a textbook! They then began beating the daylights out of me using those textbooks! I felt one of my teeth fall out and I had a bloody nose as they kept bashing my face. I then completely blacked out and next thing I know, I wake up and my neck hurts, and my pants are down and I have the worst searing pain from my asshole. When I get home, I check and it looks like they fucked me in the ass while I was passed out, and I also have bruises on my neck so they must have tried to strangle me!


Erotic Transference for My Nerd THERAPIST

I have a nerdy therapist (glasses, rosacea, acne, greasy hair, cheesy smell, suspenders, bow tie, adult braces, TOTAL HUNK) and I keep having fantasies about him. I find that he consumes most of my thoughts and I have wet dreams. I fantasize about being in his office and him locking the door with a key so that I can’t escape. Then he grabs me by the neck and shoves my neck between his cream cheese thighs. Then he begins choking me using his thighs and ends up killing me. I don’t even know if therapy will work for me. During each session, this is all I think about, and I find I can’t open up properly. Should I bring this up to him?


The Term "Nerd Thighs" Was Searched 100 Times in the Month of May in 2007

https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=nerd%20thighs

Why May 2007? And when I search for nerd thighs, specific to May 2007, nothing comes up: https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=nerd%20thighs

Even weirder, nerd thighs weren't searched again until summer of 2008, and that's the year that nerd thigh posts started popping up on the Internet, on Yahoo Answers. What caused people to search for nerd thighs in May 2007 100 times and then not search for it again for a whole year? Why did people search for nerd thighs at such a high rate even though there weren't even any posts about them at the time?


I Sucked a Nerdy Man's Ice Hard Rock and Now I Have Oral Herpes

A nerdy man (glasses, rosacea, acne, greasy hair, bowtie, suspenders) told me he'd give me some good shit if I sampled his sausage. He had red bumps on his dick, but I ignored them. So I began sucking his dick and he ended up cumming in my mouth. Then when I asked for that good shit he ended up pulling a jar out of his backpack that said "Good" on it, and inside the jar was literal shit. I began screaming at him as he got in his car and he said "Thanks for the blowjob!"

Ever since then, I have had those same red bumps that were on his dick, inside my mouth. I also have some on my lips. They hurt. Is this oral herpes? I'm too afraid to go to the doctor because I don't want the doctor to see my butthole.


I Quit My Job So I Can Spend ALL DAY Masturbating to Nerd Thighs

I'm going to start off with saying that Lawrence went out of town for a funeral. Linda was supposed to stay here and take care of me. One morning, I woke up and I felt like shit. I mean that feeling you get where you know you're really sick. Your whole body feels like it's hit by a truck, your lymph nodes are swollen, and you have a pounding headache. Along with those symptoms, I also had really bad stomach pain. And to top that off, my intestines were making a gurgling sound. I went diarrhea all over my bed. I called for Linda, my other housemate. She came and took my poopy pants off and put me in my wheelchair, then wheeled me into the bathroom. I propped myself up on the toilet and began shitting. And then, the worst thing happened. I heard a THUMP and looked into my bedroom (my bedroom has an attached bathroom, and the bathroom door was open) and she was laying on the floor.

My diarrhea was explosive. It echoed in the toilet bowl and water and chunks came out of my ass. And sometimes, it was just brown slime. I swear I fell asleep a few times, and woke up hunched over. I sat back up and gasped. A nerd was squatting in front of me! His cock was erect and he was hairy. Except his thighs. His thighs were completely bald! He had short, curly brown hair and black horn rimmed glasses. He had acne too! And he looked like he had subtype 3 rosacea! "Are you r-real?" I asked, trembling. "I'm as real as all your other thoughts," he murmured, stroking underneath my chin with his thin, pale finger. I felt a shiver up my spine. This nerd then began sucking my dick! When I came, more diarrhea exploded out of my ass. Unfortunately, the diarrhea slime accumulated in the toilet and began touching my ass after some time. I moved myself onto my wheelchair and peered into the toilet bowl. It looked like a big pile of mud! I panicked, knowing it wouldn't flush. I then began grabbing my shit in my hands and tossing it into the bathtub. I then plopped myself back onto the toilet and began projectile vomiting onto my wheelchair. The bile began dripping off the wheelchair and hitting the floor. Drip, drip, drip. The nerd began smiling at me, saying he never imagined so many bodily fluids would come out of such an elderly man! The nerd then began shoveling my own shit from the bathtub into my mouth, and then he told me if I didn't swallow all my shit, he would crush my larynx with his pasty white thighs. I purposefully spit it out onto his lap and he pulled me off the toilet and wrapped his thighs around my neck and began strangling me. The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital hooked up to IVs and oxygen. Apparently I had gotten so dehydrated from the whole ordeal that I began hallucinating about the nerd (there were no signs of forced entry). Lawrence found Linda dead in the bedroom and found me passed out on the bathroom floor, shit and vomit all over the bathroom.

I Haven't Washed my Bedsheets in 25 Years

I bought my current set of sheets and blankets about 25 years ago, and I've had them ever since. There are holes in the blanket and sheets, and tons of shit and piss stains. I also haven't cleaned them, so there's cum crust, dried up piss, and dried shit all over it. I managed to scrape most of the crusted shit off using a knife. I used the knife to scrape it off onto the floor, but some of it is hard to get off. It smells so bad, I have chronic nausea issues and vomit every day.

You're probably curious why I haven't gotten around to either washing the bedspread or setting it on fire. Well, the truth is, I've been too busy wanking. I'm retired so I spend my entire day jacking off. To what, you ask? To nerd thighs! Nerd thighs are the sexy, feta cheese thighs of a nerdy man (glasses, rosacea, adult braces, acne, greasy hair, suspenders, bow tie, skinny figure, etc.) Right when I wake up in the morning I look at naked nerd pictures. I stare intensely at his thighs and visualize my neck in between that set of thighs, and I visualize the thighs tightening around my neck, cutting off my air supply, and crushing my larynx. After the nerd kills me, he then cuts a hole in my neck and begins fucking it. He cums inside my neck and the cum goes down my throat.

Then he cuts off my entire head and hangs my body up. He skins it and guts it. Then he consumes every part of me. He eats my nails, grinds up my teeth and sprinkles it over my skin and eats that. He eats my sinew, and makes broth from my bones. He eats my kidneys, heart, liver, membranes, spleen, lungs, large gut, small gut. He eats even the gross parts like my gorge, feces, bile, phlegm, pus, blood, sweat, fat, grease, saliva, mucus, oil of the joints, and my urine. He saves my brain for last, that's his dessert.

That's the fantasy I have each time. It turns me on so much, I masturbate all day. By the end of the day, my dick is red, raw, and stinging with pain. Sometimes fluid that isn't cum or urine comes oozing out of my foreskin. It's a brownish, tannish color.


I Want to Live Inside a Nerdy Man's ASS

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, let me dumb it down for you. By "his" I mean a nerd! Your stereotypical nerdy man who wears bowties and suspenders, has his greasy brown hair parted to one side, has acne and rosacea, has either buck teeth or adult braces, and wears black horn rimmed glasses!

I want to have him kneel on the floor and spread his ass cheeks. Then I will shove my head inside his ass cheeks. I will survive purely with his ass. Instead of water, I'll drink his ass juice. Instead of food, I'll eat his feces. I'll breathe in his ass oxygen.

The best part? When my head is in his ass, since his balls are near his ass, I'll get to be able to also smell his balls! And in case you didn't know (you probably didn't, haha) his balls smell like tuna fish!


If I Watch Nerd Porn for 8 Hours a Day, I Get Grand Mal Seizures!

Usually I try to limit my nerd porn viewing to only 8 hours per day because if I go any longer than that, shit explodes out of my ass, my dick starts swinging around like a helicopter and urine and cum get all over the room, then I begin convulsing as I have a grand mal seizure! Then I wake up covered in my own vomit!


I Got Abducted by a NERD

HEY EVERYONE! Today has been a day full of EXCITING event! HAHA!

Lawrence was 8pushing me around the block in my wheelchair because he thought I had to 1 get out of the house. Anyway, as Lawrence was pushing me, he suddenly COLLAPSED halfway into the walk. I looked behind me and there was a nerd holding a STUN GUN! GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The nerd began running towards me and hit me in the back of the head with a baseball bat, 4 so I was unconscious. Then, I woke up later, dizzy, in a BDSM 5 dungeon. GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 I was sitting on a chair and my wrists were tied to the back of it. 7 The room was dim. Then, the nerd came into the room. He was handsome as HELL! He had greasy hair, big glasses, buck teeth, freckles, and was wearing suspenders! He looked amazing! GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1231!!!!!!

HE came over to ME and began telling me he's been stalking me online and that he thinks I'm SEXY. My dick began getting FUCKING HARD!!!!!13 I went t343 He wen tup a 34 I fd30 )2 GASP!!!!!!!!@!####!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He began BEATING TME ON THTE HEAD WITH A BAS EBALL BAD T ANd then I woke up and my fae gwas all bo9dy1 fr33 :)D H ESTRANGLED ME WITH NERDS THIGHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then


The Oregon Strangulation Case

In 2014 in a small town in Oregon, a 17 year old boy was found dead in his car. The coroner concluded, based on the bruises on the victim's neck, that he had been strangled by a "set of thighs." A witness said she last saw the victim alive at Denny's, hanging out with three nerds who looked like they came from the "local chess club." Apparently they were wearing glasses, suspenders, had adult braces, and had rosacea and acne. They were also supposedly pale skinned and scrawny.


The Nerdy Killer!

Once upon a time, on a dark stormy night, a man named Tom was sitting at home, reading a book. He heard a noise outside the house, but dismissed it as an animal. He lived in a rural area, after all. But suddenly, all the lights in his house went out. Tom dismissed it again, thinking that the bad weather caused a power outage. He got up and went to take a shit in the toilet. While he was expelling feces from his anus, he heard a chainsaw noise. Tom wiped his poopy butt and closed the toilet lid.

Then, the chainsaw got turned off. It was dead silent. Tom was quivering with fear, and he pissed his pants. Then, he heard footsteps. The footsteps came closer, and closer, and closer. Tom began crying, and the footsteps stopped. Then, someone in the dark grabbed him and bashed his head into a wall. Tom was unconscious.

He woke up, hours later, in a basement. He was tied up and had a ball gag in his mouth. Tom heard footsteps come down the stairs, and he was shocked at what he saw. Standing before him was a geeky nerd! He had glasses, greasy hair, rosacea, acne, and buck teeth! He was pale and had a scrawny figure. And he had a sadistic grin on his face, and there was bloodlust in his eyes. The nerd slowly walked up to Tom, his grin getting bigger and bigger. Tom's heart was racing and felt like it would burst out of his chest. Was he going to die?

The nerd walked up and grabbed Tom and kicked him in the balls. Then the nerdy man stripped completely naked. Tom marveled at how white, hairless, and cheesy the nerd's thighs were. The nerd then took Tom's neck and shoved it between his thighs. The nerd began squeezing tighter and tighter. And Tom struggled to breathe. His face and lips began turning blue, and finally he stopped breathing. The nerd checked Tom's pulse to make sure he was dead, and he was. The nerd then cut open Tom's neck with a knife and started having sex with the thyroid gland. The nerd then ejaculated into Tom's neck.

Once the nerd was finished with Tom, he dragged Tom's lifeless body outside and threw it into a nearby dumpster. He looked at Tom as nothing more than useless garbage.


I Got Strangled by Nerd Thighs at the Beach

So I went to the beach because... well, it's summer. I wanted to enjoy white sand and the sound of the ocean. So I found a nerd sunbathing. Parts of his body were tanned, except his thighs. His thighs didn't tan or sunburn. It was the weirdest shit! So I laid down my towel beside his. I felt my boner coming on as I laid next to the nerd. And I kept starting at his thighs and he didn't even notice.

I remembered what /u/supernerdboyyyyy said about feta cheese and I decided to try to taste his thighs. I wanted to know whether it would taste like vanilla or feta cheese. Anyway, I licked the nerd's thighs. I tasted a mix of feta cheese and vanilla! The nerd looked at me and became furious. He jumped up, grabbed my neck, and shoved it in between his thighs. I began begging for mercy.

Bystanders began screaming and flipping out, and calling the police. I felt my face turning hot as I tried to gasp for air. I felt bruising form on my neck. The cops arrived and they got boners and cum stains. They were too afraid of this glorious nerd to step in and tear him off of me. And I think they also noticed my boner, realizing this was consensual. I passed out on the ground and woke up in the hospital.

The doctor said I went into cardiac arrest and then lost consciousness. I was rushed to the ER and lived! I'm spending a while just resting, I almost died the other day. If not from the nerd thighs, then from the heart attack. I got very lucky.


A Nerd Strangled Me, Dumped Me in the Woods, and Ruined My Life

So I was drinking at a gay bar and I sat down with a sexy nerd. He had black horn rimmed glasses, suspenders, and he looked like he came from the local chess club. He had a book with him. I asked him what he was reading and he said he was reading some book about Python. I got up to go to the bathroom and that's when I left my drink alone. I came back and finished my drink. Next thing I know I'm in a dim room on a bed. There are action figures on a bookshelf across the room. The rest of the bookshelf is filled with science, math, and computer books. To the left of the room is a big desk with two computers. A Windows laptop and an iMac.

There's another bookshelf to the right of the room and it's filled with binders and journals. I heard the door open and I looked up, hyperventilating. The nerd was butt naked and ready to have his way with me. He forced me on my stomach and handcuffed my hands behind my back. Then he flipped me over again, and shoved his dick in my mouth.

"I will strangle you," he said. "Don't say a single word or I'll shove this back in your mouth."

He took his dick out of my mouth. Then he sat me on my knees on the ground and bent my neck forward. He wrapped his creamy, white, hairless thighs around my neck and strangled me. I felt his balls on the back of my neck as he strangled me and his dick was laying on my head. I was really turned on.

I awoke the next morning in the woods. I was like, "Holy shit that nerd dumped me here thinking I died!" I couldn't have been that far in the woods because I heard the highway. I tried to get up but I couldn't move my legs. I literally couldn't move my legs at all. I didn't even try to move my back or neck because I know what can happen if you try that: you can injure your spine further. I began screaming. I doubt anyone would hear me. I kept yelling and screaming for help. I didn't even have my cell phone on me. A dog ran up to me. He looked like a mix of a golden retriever and possibly a husky. It was cute. I heard the owner calling the dog's name and he found me laying there. He told me his dog had run off and found me. The guy didn't even hear me yelling. I told him I think I became paralyzed because I couldn't feel or move my legs.

He called an ambulance and they put something around my neck, and put me in a gurney. I rode to the hospital. They said I have paraplegia and it's permanent. I have full function of my torso and arms, but I don't have function of anything below my waist. Fuck.

I stayed overnight at the hospital. I just had to share this story. I'm now a wheelchair user and probably will have to go to a nursing home. Fantastic.


Interview With a Local Nerd

At the computer lab I met a nerd and scheduled an interview with him a few hours later. This is how it went.

Me: Why do you guys like to strangle people using your thighs?

Nerd: It's an urge. And for the most part, it's uncontrollable. We just get triggered by a person with an exposed neck, and we impulsively strangle them to death. It's similar to an automatic reflex a dog gets when he spots a squirrel. That's how nerds are, too.

Me: Why do you like to rape?

Nerd: Nerds strive to dominate others. Nerd thigh strangulation is the most common thing we do (99% of nerds choose this tactic) but sometimes we choose other methods of torture too. We never target women, we only target men. All nerds are gay. And it's more satisfying to overpower and humiliate a man by rape.

Me: I have been strangled twice, and both times I could feel the nerd getting an erection. Does this really turn you on?

Nerd: Yes, it does. It's more arousing than anything, it gives us an immediate boner, feeling you struggle trying to breathe.

Me: Nerds are pretty sadistic.

Nerd: That's a trait that all nerds share. You'll never find a submissive nerd, they just don't exist.

Me: Have you seen the subreddit called "/r/thighsexual" on Reddit?

Nerd: Yes, I have. I and my nerd friends were able to trace your location and how we have been targeting you lately. We won't stop until you're dead.

Me: What do you love most about me?

Nerd: Your submissiveness and desire to be tortured and killed by my sexy, muscular thighs.

Me: You're giving me an erection.

Nerd: XD

Me: Will you strangle me, my master nerd? I will worship your thighs above anything else. I will kiss them and caress them, if only you strangle me!

Nerd: I want to plan a surprise attack. It'll happen this week.

Me: *Boner showing through my pants* Teehee look at little Johnny peeking out of my pants! You're a real sexy nerd.

Nerd: *Rapes me in the mouth with his dick*

Me: You forcefully penetrated me!

Nerd: So? *Smiles and gets up and leaves*


The Local Nerd Killed Me

Okay so the nerd from the interview ended up sticking to his word and killing me.

I didn't think that would happen. I've been strangled too many fucking times. So a few days later I'm wheeling myself around the block, just enjoying the sticky, oppressive Florida heat. Might as well make the most of this shit.

I see the nerd from the interview running at me. I try to wheel around and couldn't make it, he was too fast (for a nerd). He tore me from my wheelchair and shoved my neck between his thighs. He then squeezed as hard as he could. I felt lightheaded and had waves of nausea. I even began experiencing vertigo.

Then, I woke up in the hospital. And there was the sweet old lady (I wouldn't call her old, she's 30 years younger than me at the least) and she told me the whole story. She was knitting by her window and saw something out of the corner of her eye. She saw my wheelchair slowly rolling down the curb and into the street, as a nerd was strangling me. She said she saw him cum on his pants. She rushed outside. The nerd then fled from the scene. She called the hospital and checked my pulse. There wasn't one. But she decides to try giving me CPR anyway. The paramedics arrive and lift me onto a gurney and into the back of the ambulance. My neighbor rides with me. She told me she held my hand while they continued performing CPR.

The doctors later told me they had to defibrillate my heart and put me on a ventilator. I had an MRI and a CT and they confirmed I had cerebral hypoxia. I spent the next three days having repeated seizures. They put me on CBD and it did help reduce the seizures, I only got one on the fourth day and one today.

I'm at home resting and my male neighbor (Lawrence) is now living with me. The female neighbor (the one who rescued me, Linda) baked me delicious chocolate chip cookies and brought me some new books and some old Beatles CDs. I fucking love her.

Lawrence reminds me to take my anti-seizure medications, low blood pressure medications, and CBD oil. I'm not going to get a service dog because my neighbor is practically my dog at this point. He does anything and everything I say. If I toss my keys on the floor he fetches them and returns them to my hand. Good dog.


I Masturbated to Nerd Thighs

So first I went online and found nerd porn. And I printed so many that my printer ran out of ink. Once I had all of them printed out, I covered my bedroom wall with them. Taped them everywhere. You wouldn't even know what color my wall is, as it's completely covered in pictures of naked nerdy men.

I took off my pants and saw my rock hard cock. I was like, god damn, nerds sure do make me horny! But this was overwhelming! Instead of looking at one or two nerd pictures, I had THREE FUCKING HUNDRED nerd pictures all over my wall! My eyes were darting all over the place as I was stroking my cock. The nerd pictures ended up causing sensory overload and I shit all over my bed. But instead of cleaning it up and washing my sheets, I smeared the shit all over my thighs. Now, I'm not a complete nerd. My thighs aren't hairless and cheesy, and I don't wear glasses. I'm not a genius either. So I'm not your stereotypical nerd.

After I was done rubbing my shit all over myself, I realized I had to piss. Instead of getting up, because I didn't want to since these nerd pictures are in here, I just aimed my dick towards my face, opened my mouth, and pissed up into my mouth and swallowed it all. Once I was done pissing, I took some of the shit I rubbed on my thighs and rubbed it on my dick. Then, I began stroking my cock while looking at the nerd pictures on my wall.

But one nerd picture stood out to me. The nerd picture across from my bed, there was a nerd with his thighs spread, and they were hairless and white as snow. He had dark brown hair, glasses, fucked up teeth, and rosacea. Oh, and he had a few pimples too! I was like, wow, it looks like that nerd is staring into my soul. Like he's trying to hypnotize me to put my neck between his thighs and beg him to strangle me. But, he doesn't realize, he wouldn't have to hypnotize me. If I were in a room with a nerd right now, I would beg to get strangled. I would get down on my knees and begin worshipping his thighs, pleading with him to wrap his feta cheese thighs around my neck and strangle me. I want to feel the eurphoric high that comes from loss of oxygen. I want him to even go as far as killing me and then consuming my body after I die.

Anyway, the nerd in the picture really turned me on. I ended up cumming all over myself and then I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning from my housemate, Lawrence. He began knocking on my bedroom door. I woke up abruptly and looked around the room and smiled. The sun was shining through the window and made the pictures of the nerds all the more beautiful. I smelled a horrific stench and vomited. I was covered in shit and cum. Lawrence opened the door and he also vomited. He was disgusted at the sight of an 85 year old man, butt naked, covered in shit and cum, and seeing naked nerd pictures taped all over my wall.

I've been living in my room for the past few days. I haven't left my room at all. Lawrence brings me food and water whenever I need it, and all I do is lay in my bed, piss and shit, and then I end up getting aroused by the nerd pictures and masturbate. I've masturbated like 50 times these past few days. I am not planning on ever leaving this room because I'd rather be surrounded by pictures of a bunch of naked nerds than be anywhere else right now.


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